Chapter 2

{ AUTHORS NOTE }
I did not write this story to offend or judge anybody, I wrote it to express a story of going about things when shit hits the fan. Please don't kill me. Thank you.

The days seep by, which each of are spent floating until my supply runs out. I sit at the end of my bed picking and scratching at my arm. Few more hours, I should be okay. My breathing is slow, my thought process is curved. The wallpaper is moving ever so slightly, or is it just me? My attention moved to my phone, as it began ringing. Mom.. I don't want to talk to her right now so I let it ring, making it the 12th missed call from her. Feeling so lost in my shitty world; wasting a good portion of my time. The days go by faster; I could blink and miss an entire month, season, year from my daily routine. Every now and then he texts me, asking if I'm okay. Usually I reply yes, and sometimes I don't answer, resulting with him sending somebody to my house to check on me. My slim fingers wrap around my metal footboard of the cheap run-down bed, I can't feel it. There has been many times where the difficulty of trying to grab something increases rapidly, usually resulting in me crying in frustration or disappointment in myself. Alix has seen me do this, if he is around he screams at me, saying I'll take too much. He's been the only person who has supplied me, so I can't see that happening. 

The problem with people who overdose on heroin, it happens when you are switching dealers, or dealers switching their shit up as far as I know. Even though I have lived similar to this for about 5 years, I didn't go hard on it until I got to college which was 3 years ago. Since he has been my dealer, I know each dose and how long it will keep me satisfied. If you go around hopping dealers, you don't know how strong their supply is, it can kill you. First it started to keep me relaxed for school, trying to not loose my shit. In addition to all my personal shit, it made me forget. Even though it got easier to be happy at the time; no pressure being around family. I could be who I wanted. A common misconception is that you can't be energetic on Heroin. This is false, at the time I didn’t use it until I was nodding. Though doing it made it easier for me to be happy, now I can only make myself miserable without it. Staying like that for a year, I worked up to having to use higher doses. School dropped out of my agenda, and I just use for 'shits and giggles' now. At least that's what I tell anybody who's in the opiate circle with me, and that happens to be about a handful of people.

The phone begins to ring once again, slightly startling me. Picking up I instantly recognize the number and answer.

"Neah, we need to talk." I was hesitant to reply, even though I reflexively did.

"Okay." The silence echoed, until I heard somebody yell on the other end of the line.

"Please come to the coffee shop, there is a guy outside to bring you.” he says as he hangs up on me.

Pushing myself on my feet with the furniture, I am now standing. My attention shifts to the full body mirror that projected what I looked like. In my opinion, shit. My fingers run over my bony frame, causing me to wince at how much I appeared to be underweight. Suddenly hit with reality of my carelessness about eating and taking care of my body, I turn away from the mirror and move to my dresser pulling out a black shirt with netting at the top, along with some shorts with suspenders. Moving down to the next drawer, I pull out a black coat. I slip the shirt over my bony frame, looking at it makes me feel gross. Pulling the loose shorts up I button them. I get socks out of the same drawer and put them on. The jacket was next, and then my boots.

Slight annoyance oozes through me as I shuffle over to the window in front of my house. Snorting as I turn on my heel, I slide my phone into my pocket and analyze my surroundings once more. Everything seems in place, considering I usually don't sleep in here. 

My fingers lace themselves around my doorknob as I turn and pull. Letting go, I walked forward to the front exit of my shack. The afternoon heat was at its high, instantly making me sweat upon exit. The humidity made it harder to breathe along with it. Increasing my pace I reached the black sedan before the guy could open the door for me. He tries to open the door, but I open the door and get in before he reached the handle. His expression seemed startled, as he turned and went to his side of the car. He opened the door and looked in at me. 

"Ms. Michaels are you okay?" His tone seemed worried.

He got in the car and shut his door before turning the key in the ignition. Chewing at my lip I thought about his question before answering. Yes, but no. I'm not enthusiastic about seeing Alix again, I have no idea how long it has exactly been since I told him to leave. The car began to move quickly. Pursing my lips before I answered, I can't help but really wonder. What will he want?

"Miss?" Alix's driver repeated again.

"Oh. Uh. Y-Yes." I answered trying to pull my head out of my ass. Lost in my thoughts once more, I push myself to ask his driver. “Do you know why he asked me to come”?

The air grew thick; I could see him hesitating to tell me. Pushing myself to look away from him in hope he would answer me, I focused on the upcoming coffee shop that was my destination. Sadly, the car ride will probably be ending before I get my answer. He started slowing down the car right as we reached the coffee shop. Taking a right he pulled into the parking lot. He proceeded to try and get out to probably open my door for me, but I stopped him. Popping open the door I say thanks, get out, and slam it. Letting my irritation seep out from being ignored. Even though as I'm walking away, I can't help but smirk. This is the nicer, but more boring, coffee shop on campus. Maybe he wanted somewhere quiet where he knew I couldn't throw coffee at him? Coming around to the first entrance closest to me reveals only a few people inside. He's sitting at a table with two coffee's and a book, with a phone up to his ear as he looks around. Spotting me, he makes a come here motion with his hand. Pulling down my jacket sleeve, I open the door with it wrapped around my hand. Continuing to watch him, I see him hang up the phone and slide it into his dark green hoodie. He's watching me slowly approach the table. He slides the chair across from him out with his foot as I reach the table, before setting my iced coffee down in my spot. Sitting in my chair I await for him to speak to me.

He takes a few moments before he say anything, giving me time to slouch back in the chair and cross my arms. Inhaling the scent of coffee beans seems to calm me down more from wanting to toss the drink at him and screaming fuck you, but that would be 'Unladylike'. I almost snicker at the thought; me? acting like a lady? Best Joke I have heard this year. He still hasn't said anything. Snorting I grab my drink and hold it, preparing it to launch it at anytime. Sitting up enough to slouch over, I prop myself up with my elbow with the same arm holding my drink. Sitting there I stare at my drink before I muck up the courage to say anything.

"Let's get this over with, before I turn 60." I say before taking a sip of my drink. He looks puzzled, as to what I might say, so he stays quiet.

"I want an apology, and I also want to know why I'm here." Saying this while setting my cup down hard. He stares at me; he looks as if he's searching for something. My patience begins to run dry as he takes his sweet time before even saying the first word to me. Starting to say something, he then stops himself and looks down at his hands under the table.

"Please. For the love of god. Speak to me. I know you didn't invite me out here to watch me drink coffee and berate you." Saying as I huff at him.

"I am sorry. Please forgive me for what I did. Please don't push me out of your life. I need you!" He yelled. The few people in the shopped stopped their actions. He glared at the closer ones before turning to the guy working at the counter and snapping his fingers. The guy went to the doors and turned the open sign around, then asking the other people to leave. At first I felt kind of embarrassed being around all those people and trying to scream at him, but he has now made a wrong move. I now have full advantage to probably throw a chair at him. Something ticked in me, causing me to stand up.

"You don't fucking deserve anything. You were in the process of doing something I didn't want you to do, and then you burn me with your cigarette. You really think I should forgive you? Nearly all my trust in you has faded; you have never left a mark on me before. Then you go off and tell me you can do as you please?" I yell at him. Picking up my coffee I toss it in his direction, but with no avail I completely miss him. My anger manifests as I put my hand on the table, and move my hand towards his face, now pointing at him.

"I'd hurt you If I could, but unfortunately you wouldn't let me if I tried. Let me promise you this, you deserve it. If you ever screw up this bad again, it will not be the same. One chance. That's all you get." I say as I sit back in my seat.

Moments pass slowly as he and I wait for it to clam down. I'm still pissed over it, but I'll just let one chance slide, since it's the first time he has done something like this. We see the guy working behind the counter come by us to clean up the mess I made with a towel. Immediately feeling bad, I regret what I tried to do.

"So, can you tip that guy extra since I did that?" I whisper to Alix. He nods in approval before reaching back into his hoodie and pulling out his phone. He scrolls through it before stopping and sliding it to me.

"You have met Ashton before right?" He says as I look at the text messages. Shaking my head, I wait for him to keep talking.

"I think you have met him before, but he's on campus now. He told me his is being watched, and he needs somebody to deliver his blow for him. This is where I need your help. Somebody need to take him a book full of drugs so nothing is too suspicious. He requested somebody other than me to do it. Seeing you have gotten into trouble like this before maybe you could do it?" He said as he slipped his phone back into his hoodie.

"Are you crazy? That was before I got all my tatts. I'd look suspicious as shit if I went in there and handed him a book. Plus considering how I look now! I haven't gotten a full 8 hours of sleep in about a year. Can't you find somebody else to do it?" Questioning him, he shakes his head.

"Please. It's really simple Neah. I can't get anybody else to do it. This guy has been waiting for a week!" I suddenly put the offer into consideration. I know how it feels to try and be off H for a week, and its hell. Even trying to cut back makes you feel like you are going to die. Even though during Alix and I's trial period of not talking to each other for a bit, he still sent people to my house to drop off my fix. Hell, some even stayed to monitor me. It’s only the ones that knew me well though. He's seen how bad it gets trying to stop. It's hard to try and imagine now not having anything. It makes me sad.

"Okay. I'll do it."

Giving into this wasn't difficult, only because I can sympathize for people who run out of drugs, or can use anymore. It must be awful. Getting up, he moves over to my side and hugs me. 

"Thank you, this means a lot." Standing up, he came up with me before releasing me.

"Let's go, I'll get my driver to take you home. Please try not to break the door this time." Mentioning and he slid his arm around my back and walked with me. 

We were waiting for the driver to pull up as Alix told me more of what was to be done.

"I'll come by your house for you tomorrow , and then we are going to go shopping. That possibly includes taking you to a good friend of mine who is a stylist." Taking me by the shoulders he looked at me, I then placed my hand on his chest. 

"Babe, everything will be okay. I promise." His promises to me now mean a little less, but I can probably live with it. Nodding my head my eye caught the sight of his driver's car. Hugging me once again, I was thanked. Exiting the cafe led me to think harder about what I had just gotten myself into.

Oh boy.